The mothers who go on holiday and leave their young children behind: It's good for them, insists Sophie, who's about to leave her three under-fives for the seventh time 

  • Sophie Khoury, 39, has decided she will leave her children to go on holiday
  • Gabriela, Chiara and Georges will stay at home with the nanny 
  • Sophie will enjoy a luxurious four-day break with her husband Joseph
  • Increasingly women are choosing to take a break without their little ones
  • Her holidays are a non-negotiable essential - a chance for her to unwind

As the weeks fly past, Sophie Khoury's excitement is rising. She can't wait until June for her holiday to the beautiful Greek island of Santorini. She'll pack a book, sun cream, a few simple outfits - and plans to do little but relax on the beach with her husband.

One thing she won't be taking on holiday? Her three children. Sophie, 39, has decided she and her husband will leave their children - Gabriela, four, Chiara, two-and-a-half, and six-month-old Georges - at home with the nanny while they enjoy a luxurious four-day break.

It's something many mothers simply couldn't countenance - leaving their children thousands of miles away while they jet off for some fun in the sun. But increasingly, more women are choosing to put themselves first and take a break without their little ones.

Sophie, 39, has decided she and her husband will leave their children - Gabriela, four, Chiara, two-and-a-half, and six-month-old Georges - at home with the nanny while they enjoy a luxurious four-day break

Sophie, 39, has decided she and her husband will leave their children - Gabriela, four, Chiara, two-and-a-half, and six-month-old Georges - at home with the nanny while they enjoy a luxurious four-day break

Guilt or missing their family don't come into it. What's more, these women even claim it's good for children to be without their mother for extended periods of time.

Sophie is firmly of this mindset. Indeed, the Santorini holiday will be her seventh without her children since giving birth to Gabriela in 2012 - the longest of which was a ten-day break to Kenya.

There have also been other trips away for work, rather than pleasure. And Sophie's first child-free holiday - a trip to Miami for a week with a girlfriend - took place when Gabriela was just three months old.

Sophie says her holidays are a non-negotiable essential - a chance for her to unwind from her stressful job in international banking and spend some quality time with her husband, Joseph, 39, also a banker.

While their parents are sunbathing, the children will be left with the live-in nanny at the family's five-bedroom home in South-West London.

'I love my children dearly, but I do believe being apart from them and having time to myself makes me a better mother,' says Sophie. 'Otherwise motherhood is just 'duty, duty, duty'. I don't want to feel raising my children is a job. It should be something to enjoy.'

Sophie says her holidays are a non-negotiable essential - a chance for her to unwind from her stressful job in international banking and spend some quality time with her husband, Joseph, 39

Sophie says her holidays are a non-negotiable essential - a chance for her to unwind from her stressful job in international banking and spend some quality time with her husband, Joseph, 39

As well as escaping the drudgery of domestic life, Sophie is adamant her regular breaks keep the spark alive with her husband.

'Going away without the children is important for my marriage. Joseph works in Paris five days a week so we have little time together. And with three children under four, it's often impossible to talk.

'Even if we have a date night on a Friday or Saturday, it's not the same as spending several days together.'

Sophie admits that even some of her closest friends disagree with her choosing to jet off so regularly.

'I know some friends think I'm crazy for leaving my children - especially when they're babies.

'But I honestly believe it's good for me and for them. I don't agree with mothers being attached to babies 24/7. I'd go mad. I feel so much happier to see them when I return home relaxed. And I really believe they appreciate me more, too.'

Trips away from the children were always in Sophie's parenthood plan. Indeed, she booked that first trip to Miami before she'd even given birth.

'When I was pregnant, a girlfriend asked me about going to Miami. I agreed straightaway, even though other friends thought I was mad.

'Gabriela arrived two weeks early in the February and by mid-May I was ready for a break. If I'm honest, I didn't take to motherhood particularly well with my first baby.

'Being a mother was so different from my old life. But if nothing else, knowing I was going to wear a swimsuit motivated me to lose baby weight.'

And so Sophie made her way to the departure lounge, leaving her husband and mother in charge. And as she wasn't breastfeeding, a decision taken to make it easier for her to return to work, she felt no qualms about leaving her tiny daughter behind.

'I went to Miami and did very little but relax on the beach with my friend. I came home feeling like a new woman,' she says.

'What's more, it made me realise I was a woman, not just a mother-machine who changed nappies. I'd forgotten that because I'd been so immersed in my new baby.'

Sophie’s first child-free holiday - a trip to Miami for a week with a girlfriend - took place when Gabriela was just three months old. Above, Sophie, with her husband Joseph on holiday with the kids 2015

Sophie's first child-free holiday - a trip to Miami for a week with a girlfriend - took place when Gabriela was just three months old. Above, Sophie, with her husband Joseph on holiday with the kids 2015

Trips away from the children were always in Sophie’s parenthood plan. Indeed, she booked that first trip to Miami before she’d even given birth. ‘When I was pregnant, a girlfriend asked me about going to Miami. I agreed straightaway, even though other friends thought I was mad'

Trips away from the children were always in Sophie's parenthood plan. Indeed, she booked that first trip to Miami before she'd even given birth. 'When I was pregnant, a girlfriend asked me about going to Miami. I agreed straightaway, even though other friends thought I was mad'

Some might argue that this is the point of motherhood - total immersion in the new life you have created. But Sophie disagrees and, with her taste for travel reignited, she was soon off again.

'A few months later, Joseph and I went to Kenya for ten days, leaving Gabriela with my mum. I didn't feel guilty. She was with her grandma, who loves her dearly.'

The holidays continued when Sophie had her second daughter Chiara in July 2013 - but she was a little warier now she was leaving not one, but two small children behind.

Some might argue that this is the point of motherhood - total immersion in the new life you have created. But Sophie, above on holiday in the Florida Keys in 2012, disagrees and, with her taste for travel reignited, she was soon off again. ‘A few months later, Joseph and I went to Kenya for ten days, leaving Gabriela with my mum'

Some might argue that this is the point of motherhood - total immersion in the new life you have created. But Sophie, above on holiday in the Florida Keys in 2012, disagrees and, with her taste for travel reignited, she was soon off again. 'A few months later, Joseph and I went to Kenya for ten days, leaving Gabriela with my mum'

'When I was pregnant with Chiara, a friend asked if I'd like to go to New York with her in the October. I said I'd have to let her know after the birth because, this time, I didn't know how I'd feel about leaving two children,' she says.

'As it turned out, I was more than happy to go, leaving the two girls with Joseph and my mother again. This time, my feelings were different. I definitely missed my children more and was ready to come home. It was as if I was growing into motherhood and the guilt that comes with it.

'But the children never make a fuss when I'm away. They are independent little girls and love spending time with their grandparents. There were no tears or tantrums.'

Sophie and her husband Joseph on Holiday in Kenya 6 months after the birth of Gabriela 2012. In April 2015, while five months pregnant with her third child, Sophie went to Mumbai for four days to celebrate a friend’s 50th

Sophie and her husband Joseph on Holiday in Kenya 6 months after the birth of Gabriela 2012. In April 2015, while five months pregnant with her third child, Sophie went to Mumbai for four days to celebrate a friend's 50th

But Sophie didn't allow those guilty feelings to overwhelm her - and she and her husband went to Thailand for ten days in May 2014. Chiara was yet to turn one. 'We left the girls with a nanny, as well as Joseph's parents. Then a month later, Joseph and I went to Istanbul for four days and left the two girls with just the nanny for the first time. I definitely felt guiltier, but I trusted the nanny.

'Besides, I was so aware of how important it is for Joseph and I to spend time together as a couple.'

Then, in April 2015, while five months pregnant with her third child, Sophie went to Mumbai for four days to celebrate a friend's 50th birthday.

Georges was born in September and the Santorini break will be Sophie’s first holiday since his birth. But it certainly won’t be the last - she has plans to go to Ibiza in August with a friend. Above, in Miami in 2012

Georges was born in September and the Santorini break will be Sophie's first holiday since his birth. But it certainly won't be the last - she has plans to go to Ibiza in August with a friend. Above, in Miami in 2012

Sophie admits that such absences aren’t for the faint-hearted and points out she enjoys plenty of holidays as a family, when the children do come alon
‘We’ve been to the Seychelles, Maldives, Dubai and other places with our children. We don’t leave them at home every time' she says

Sophie admits that such absences aren't for the faint-hearted and points out she enjoys plenty of holidays as a family, when the children do come along. 'We've been to the Seychelles, Maldives, Dubai and other places with our children. We don't leave them at home every time'

'I know that some people will judge me for going away while pregnant and leaving my children, but a father would not be judged in the same way. I'd booked it before I found out I was pregnant. I was very careful about what I ate and drank there. It was fine.'

Georges was born in September and the Santorini break will be Sophie's first holiday since his birth. But it certainly won't be the last - she has plans to go to Ibiza in August with a friend, when she will again leave her children in the care of their nanny.

Sophie is emphatic that separation is beneficial for her children: 'I respect mothers who want to be with their babies all the time, but it's not how I want to live my life,' she says.

Sophie is convinced having a break gives her the opportunity to be a better mother.
She says, ‘Going away without your children isn’t for everyone. You need courage'

Sophie, left on holiday in Miami in 2012 with her friend Louisa and right on holiday with her friend Diana in the Florida Keys 2012, is convinced having a break gives her the opportunity to be a better mother. She says, 'Going away without your children isn't for everyone. You need courage'

There can be few mothers who could disagree with the restorative benefits of a break. But parenting expert Sue Atkins believes leaving young children for long periods may affect them in the future. ‘The early days of a child’s life up to the age of two are critical for bonding and attachment,’ says Sue

There can be few mothers who could disagree with the restorative benefits of a break. But parenting expert Sue Atkins believes leaving young children for long periods may affect them in the future. 'The early days of a child's life up to the age of two are critical for bonding and attachment,' says Sue

'So many mothers bend over backwards to do everything for their child and always be there for them. But that can spoil the child and make their behaviour worse.

'I'm in charge of my children - not the other way around - and they behave better for me when I've been away from them for a few days.

'When Gabriela was going through the terrible twos, I had to go away with work and left her with my in-laws for two weeks. Before leaving, she'd been having tantrums. But after the trip, she was like a different child. She wanted lots of cuddles and behaved impeccably.'

Jade Wilson, above, was not quite as confident as Sophie about leaving her two boys, Toby, two, and Teddy, seven months, when she and her husband Jamie went on a week-long skiing holiday to France in January

Jade Wilson, above, was not quite as confident as Sophie about leaving her two boys, Toby, two, and Teddy, seven months, when she and her husband Jamie went on a week-long skiing holiday to France in January

But Sophie admits that such absences aren't for the faint-hearted and points out she enjoys plenty of holidays as a family, when the children do come along.

'We've been to the Seychelles, Maldives, Dubai and other places with our children. We don't leave them at home every time.

'Going away without your children isn't for everyone. You need courage. But my daughters are very independent and have never thrown tantrums at the thought of me going away.

'Some of my friends think I'm really cool for being able to do it, while others think that I'm crazy. All I know is that having a break now and again makes me a better mother.'

'When I left them in bed at Jamie's parents' house, I hovered at the door and shed a tear because Teddy is so little,' says Jade, 26, a social media manager from Norfolk

'When I left them in bed at Jamie's parents' house, I hovered at the door and shed a tear because Teddy is so little,' says Jade, 26, a social media manager from Norfolk

There can be few mothers who could disagree with the restorative benefits of a break. But parenting expert Sue Atkins believes leaving young children for long periods may affect them in the future.

'The early days of a child's life up to the age of two are critical for bonding and attachment,' says Sue, author of Parenting Made Easy: How To Raise Happy Children.

'While the child's immediate needs can be met by a husband, grand- parent or nanny, that instinctive primal bond where a child can smell its mother and knows she is close by is so important.

'If she's not there for long periods of time, the child may not feel secure in the world and - in some cases - this could store up trust issues. The child could become hostile in the future.

'That's not to say a mother has to have her baby attached to her 24/7. It's healthy for babies to be left with others for an afternoon or even overnight. But my gut instinct is to worry that a mother who wants to leave her baby for days on end is not coping.' 

Jade Wilson was not quite as confident as Sophie about leaving her two boys, Toby, two, and Teddy, seven months, when she and her husband Jamie went on a week-long skiing holiday to France in January.

'When I left them in bed at Jamie's parents' house, I hovered at the door and shed a tear because Teddy is so little,' says Jade, 26, a social media manager from Norfolk.

'But I knew it was important for Jamie and me to go away. I was pregnant with Toby only ten months into our relationship, so we'd never been away together.

'Some friends were shocked at what I was doing. One said she could never bear to be apart from her baby. I admit I was apprehensive about being in a different country.

However, the mother-of-two knew it was important for her and her husband to go away. She said: 'I was pregnant with Toby only ten months into our relationship, so we'd never been away together'

However, the mother-of-two knew it was important for her and her husband to go away. She said: 'I was pregnant with Toby only ten months into our relationship, so we'd never been away together'

'I'm a worrier and kept thinking: 'What if something happens to us?' or 'How will we get back quickly if they need us?' But I had to trust that their grandparents knew what they were doing and that they loved them just as much as we do.'

Jade and Jamie, 26 and a company director, had a week's break in Val Thorens, which they see as a liberating experience. 'Waking up and realising 'I don't have to think of anyone but myself' did us the world of good,' says Jade.

As I got on the plane and poured a glass of wine, I thought: 'This is the first chance in months that I've felt like me, not a mother

'We sat down to dinner every night and were able to have a conversation without a little person interrupting or throwing food on the floor.

'We spoke to the children a couple of times via the FaceTime app on the computer and kept in touch with their grandparents by text, but not too much.

'The boys were really happy to see us and ever so smiley. Toby kept calling out to me, but Ted hadn't really noticed what was going on.

'Toby hadn't asked for us while we'd been away, but, apparently, he'd been found kissing a picture of us a couple of days before we were flying home.

'Days one to three were great. By day four I was missing them a bit. By the end of the holiday I was itching to give them a cuddle.

'But I don't regret it for a minute. Parenthood can grind you down and, even if you can't leave your children for a week, taking time out is important.'

Joanne Booth, 35, a dental hygienist from Kings Langley, Herts, says a holiday with her husband Marc, 39, when her daughter Emmie was ten months was the tonic she needed after suffering from the baby blues.

Jade admitted she was a worrier and kept wondering what would happen if something terrible happened to her and Jamie. But she realised she had to learn to trust her children's grandparents

Jade admitted she was a worrier and kept wondering what would happen if something terrible happened to her and Jamie. But she realised she had to learn to trust her children's grandparents

'When Emmie was about six months, a friend who's a professional golfer asked if we'd like to go to a tournament in Egypt. My first reaction was: 'Who can we get to babysit?' ' says Joanne, who now also has a second daughter, Abigail, who is two.

'I really struggled with the first two weeks of motherhood, crying and thinking I'd made a big mistake. The thought of getting away and just being myself again was very appealing.

'We knew Emmie would be perfectly safe with her grandparents. But on the day we left, I admit I cried. I brought her into bed with me and thought: 'Can I go through with this?' '

Joanne repeats the mantra of many holidaying mothers — that she was desperate not to feel like 'just' a mum. 'As I got on the plane and poured a glass of wine, I thought: 'This is the first chance in months that I've felt like me, not a mother.'

'When we got back, I felt great. But then I found out that I'd missed one of her milestones — she'd stood up in her cot on her own for the first time. Did I feel guilty? Yes, a little, but mostly sad that I'd missed it.'

Despite having missed that precious moment, Joanne says she will never regret taking her trip.

'If nothing else, going away taught me that while it's important to be a mother, you have to be a little bit selfish sometimes.'

So, would she do it again? 'Absolutely. I'd recommend any mother does it. It was just what I needed.'

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